top of page

鳳凰涅槃


孤鷹不褪羽,那能得高飛。蛟龍不脱皮,何以上青天。鳳凰不浴火,怎成火鳳凰。佛不般涅槃,怎能得永生。 —- 《老鷹的故事》

那天跟老闆聊天,他說我由初進公司到現在成長了好多。聽到他這句那刻,衝進我腦海裏第一個畫面是我在面試時興奮道著我親手裝潢新屋的過程;那時天真的模樣,一直住在我倆懦弱所打造的烏拓邦夢境裏,直到泡沫在一晚之間打碎,夢醒了。

之後的時間,還是drama不斷。

有人用盡方法去製造戲劇般的人生,我用盡全力只想過得有持續性的平靜與安穩。

我想戲劇之神是不會停止祂對我的眷顧,因為祂想我不斷成長,褪變,轉化,成為更好的自己。

每次感覺到我開始成功走過一些里程碑,命運就會一棍把我打下車,跟我說你走錯路了。

嘆一口長,拍拍膝蓋,再起來;上一次學會幫車輪打氣,這次學會換剎車系統。

可能在我全副武裝準備好之前,祂是不會讓我走對的路。

儘管還是會感到痛,苦和累,但我也知道不站起來更努力踏下去,就只會蟾蜍爬滑石,不進則退。

「再加快腳步,再努力做好一點,就會見到光明,就算是一絲。」每當我情緒快要崩潰了,我就一直提醒著自己,縱然我不知道光明是否真實存在。

《Jackie Kennedy》裡有句話: 「The darkness may never go away, but it won’t always be this heavy.」每次想起這番話都有種坦然心安的感覺;多黑暗你都看過,走過,期待著光明吧。

Only change, to rebirth. Be brave.


Five Two Zero's

favorite quote

#1 

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason for madness."- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

#2

We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything – what a waste!”

- Call me by your name

 

#3

We cling to memories as if they define us, but they don’t. What we do is what defines us.” - Ghost in the Shell. 

 

#4

“The true man wants two things: danger and play.  For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.”- Friedrich Nietzsche

bottom of page